ching*.
twenty two. 19/12/88.
shopaholic.
chocoholic.
perfectionist.
habitual tardy queen.
fairfield methodist.pjc.
ntu-chemical &
biomolecular engineering


ice queen to many.
cold and aloof.
retarded & crazy.
extreme and eccentric.
melodramatic, drama queen.
amazing eater.
bottomless pit.
super self-conscious.
fret over nitty gritty stuff,
over exaggerating.
don't really like capital letters.

hopefully, i can bring along with me these 4 years of memories. can i ?

i felt so lost standing there after the performance. the feeling was so weird. after so many things that have happened, now i will always ask myself, am i being oversensitive? maybe i shld just overlook such issues or whatever I am feeling inside, cauz they are just small matters. I rmb every year, we will go around taking pics with everyone. we will do it tgt. am i too sticky for you? mayb. but i guess dats the way i am. i hold on tightly to the frens i treasure, cauz i dun eva wanna lose em. well of cauz, i wun be like super glue. but afta noe-ing how u view frenship, i just hope i wun eva suffocate you again. but you know, you are so impt to me that i can get affected by things which may seem trivial to u but affect me so easily. i noe, it becomes a burden to u when i get affected. or it was a burden to u, but i noe u dun wan it to weigh u down too. so i guess u had no choice but to keep that slight distance from me at times. after that e-mail last year, i'm constantly in fear if i wld eva commit those "errors" i once did. its like sth i consciously tink bout. sometimes, i reali can't read ur mind. idk what ur tinking, idk wads goin on, idk am i being oversensitive. then again at times, my instincts are right, when my "prophecy" IS reality, it really hurts.

i have been made to realise that i always get caught up with my own emotions, shackling and enslaving myself to my own emotions.. and i know i need to get myself out of it, cauz it has been affecting me so much and i've had enough and I don't want to feel so upset over trivial matters (though it may be impt to me).
what am i suppose to do when i can't help but think that sth is wrong or weird? how am i suppose to react? why is it happening if sth is reali wrong? mayb it just boils down to how we view frenship again. does it?

but I know whatever that happens, i need to move along with life and not keep harping on the present and past. that doesn't mean i let go of you as a fren. i will never do that, cauz u're the most impt fren to me here. the most impt eva. idk if u noe how impt u are to me, but ur lil actions etc affect me a lot (but that's w/o any intention of putting undue stress on u or what so ever). maybe this is happening so that I can be less dependent on u and stand up on my own feet. even in my last year of uni, i'm still learning how to be more independent. haha, what a joke. yes, tho it still really hurts me, but i will be strong and move along, strong in God's strength. i will pray for His empowerment and courage to look forward. i will still always be that fren for you, a listening ear at ANY time and i mean it. cauz i noe u so well, u're so fragile inside but have such a strong facade.

i just want to stop crying or getting affected over such matters which are seen as trivial. i want to be happy and hope that you can be happy too. i know sometimes it is exhausting and a burden to be around me. i never intended for that cauz I act/react this way towards my other frens. i will emerge stronger from this. things can only get better ((: you have been awesome and will still be awesome to me.

<3


Jesus didn't die for just YOU.

came across this in last sunday's sermon bulletin. tot it wld be quite applicable to the context of new generation Christian who bask the ambience of God's grace, forgetting the real reason why He sent Jesus down for (not just to die for our sins but to bridge that gap between God & us). We focus too much on receiving our (rightful) blessings from God that we forget to glorify His name and repent of our sins. This molds us into self-centered Christians.

-We live in a church culture that has a dangerous tendency to disconnect the grace of God from the glory of God. Our hearts resonate with the idea of enjoying God's grace. We bask in sermons, conferences and books that exalt a grace centering on us. And while the wonder of grace is worthy of our attention, if that grace is disconnected from its purpose, the sad result is a self-centered Christianity that bypasses the heart of God.

The message of blibical Christianity is not "God loves ME, period" as if we were the ogject of our own faith. The message of blibical Christianity is "God loves me so that I might make Him - His ways, His salvation, His glory, and His greatness - known among all nations." God centers on Himself, even in our salvation. Recalling His words in Ezekiel: He save us, not for our sake, but for the sake of His holy name. We have received salvation so that His name will be proclaimed in all nations God loves us for His sake in the world.

This does not deny the fact God loves us deeply and has a great passion for His people. But God's passion centers on His greatness, His goodness and His glory being known among all peoples. His passion does not center on His people.

God-centered, not self-centered.-

Something that reaffirms the reason why He sent Jesus down to die for our sins. Not just to die for us, but to show the world His awesomeness and grace towards mankind.


Just extracted my WISDOM TOOTH yesterday. I'm kinda in excruciating pain cauz right afta the extraction, I practised singing for cultural night. sigh, overexert! now, I suffering the consequences! ah wells.

I shall post up a pic on my tooth soon. stay tuned. its gonna be gross factor TTM!


my greatest fear is that i will just let go.


bestie.

post dedicated to all my loved ones and fabulous frens around me. i love you and that's the best i can say to your ((:


i love you my dear adeline yeong mun yan.



wad a pang sai.


i took a shot.