planning the great escape.kidding!
19 April 2010 10:40:00 pm
surrendering it all.i bot sushi for moi moi ytd. tho a simple gesture of care for her, it makes me happy. cauz when i tink of her smile and that lil happiness in her, i feel happy too. there's too much unhappiness, grief and animosity manifesting in her that i tink that wadeva i can do to make her happy, i will try. dats wad she reali needs now. of cauz, i will still lose my patience n cool at times, i am human after all.
Its been some time since my baptism at St. Andrew's Cathedral. I feel renewed & restored by God, for all the wonderful things He has done in my life. Of cauz, not forgetting my sins along with the need for repentance. I chose Diane as my Christian/Baptism name and this name will remind me of God's goodness to me and my new life as a baptised Christian. It will be different, I will feel different and He will be
living in me. an unexplainable feeling i guess. Sometimes, I would feel as though I want to resist Him cauz I can feel the change in me, in my life where He is in control and I can uplift everything into His hands with greater ease. A lot of my decisions and thoughts always revert back to Him, its a rather weird thing as it was never like that in the past. I would take control of the situation. But my circumstances and all the complicated issues now is God's test for me to whether I can surrender it all to Him and for once, stop being so worried.
After monday's baptism follow up session with Ivy, I felt that my mind & heart was at peace. Its so wonderful how each lesson is applicable to the situation I'm stuck in. I finally feel at peace after all the recent issues that I've been bottling up ever so tightly. Being able to let go seems so good. I know I have done what I can, done the best I could already and made the right decision to place my walk with God as my priority now. Cauz, if we don't get right with God, how can other things in our life fall in place? I'm gonna let Him take the wheel. And, I have already done so.
but of cauz, its not easy to surrender ALL to Him straight away even when ur mouth proclaims so. It's not easy plus I won't exactly say I'm very good at that as I admit, I am pretty weak at times, but I'm definitely much stronger now. it takes time to build up that strength to uplift all your cares and woes to him easily and i know it will get easier subsequently.
actually there are a lot of issues i want to address with some people. but i'm not gonna tink too much since i've already decided to let it go and overlook it ((: it has been burdening me so much that it affects me lika sharp knife slowly poking into my flesh. With dat burden weighing down upon my shoulders and with lotsa stuff in my family to attend to, i need to stay focus. i need prayer. especially for moi moi.
well, sth happifying. i'm going to FULLERTON 2mr for company lunch. its secretarial week and all the ladies are invited to lunch as a form of appreciation ((: :D and who said IA was dreadful? He blessed me with a good company and fabulous superiors ((: I can't be more than thankful.
woman.
at cn yang annual dinner with the fab.
i'm gonna meet my lovely CBE cn yang peeps on thur 4 din din at some porridge place? ((: and there's driving 2mr. HOORAY. and YAM at church on friday. talk at PJC on saturday, its higher education day. gotta gif a presentation on the cn yang scholarship thingy and life in NTU. zzz. hope i don't get the jitters!
sleeping time. gooder nite.
i'm gone.
no worries. no frustrations. ironman! haha, random. i'm so gonna watch ironman!
