depressed and down.
23 November 2009 1:57:00 pm
home sick.my exams start 2mr. i'm scared and totally not prepare to the MAX. i feel damn depressed and down. i'm feeling home sick, i miss my family and my frens outside. i gotta get used to being "alone" again, not having you around me anymore. my roomie's not around, i lay down on the bed alone. the room seems so empty and big. i'm just one tiny person in there. i'm so used to your company that being along makes me feel so empty suddenly. no matter what, i gotta get used to it. focus! i'm so distracted, argh. i really want to go home now. i don't want to be around hall anymore. i want to meet my secondary and JC frens. i reali miss their company. 2 more weeks, next thur it will be over. please end my misery.
Lord, please feel & fill my emptiness.
sleepless nights.
05 November 2009 12:26:00 am
only perfect lullabies give sweet dreams.its not as easy i thought. i'm taking it as each day passes. being surrounded by my friends keeps me pre-occupied. but when i'm back in hall, my mind starts to wander. its a mixture of feelings which can't be put into words. Please let me have a good night's rest. Perpetual headache and i've gotten the flu bug )):
good night goodnight. say goodnight and go.
and i just realised its the
5th of the month. rings a bell in my head...
Was just visiting some
peggy chang's blog and i chanced upon this webby. just random but what ever it says is so true. haha interesting. the
webby has so much other random stuff but i didn't bother to explore.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
No relationship is perfect. However, there are several serious pitfalls that will end a relationship very quickly if you don't try to avoid them. The 10 items below are some of the most common and serious mistakes than can keep you from having the lasting relationship you want.
1. Cheating. Being unfaithful is the number one way to end a relationship. If you want to see someone else, be responsible enough to end your relationship first. Anything else is just being dishonest and cowardly.
2. Hanging on to Your Ex. While it's very important to remember your past mistakes, it's also important to move on. If you're still hung up on your ex, perhaps it's too early to start a new relationship. Even when you think you have no feelings left, if you're stuck in a pattern of bringing up your ex all the time when you talk with your new partner, you should do some serious thinking about where you've been and where you're heading. Your current partner deserves your full attention. It's only fair.
3. Rushing Things. Relationships develop at their own pace. Some move quickly, others move slowly and steadily. If you push your partner too much, you risk pushing them away. Two prime examples of this are the timing of physical intimacy and saying "I love you." Both of these things are best when they happen naturally. You'll both know when the time is right and the relationship won't be strained.
4. Being Ruled by Jealousy. Often feelings of intense jealousy are caused by past relationships. If your partner is open and honest, you shouldn't feel threatened by incidental contact with someone else. Conversation and interaction is normal. Trust is also important. If you become jealous with your partner without real cause, it can seriously harm your relationship.
5. Focusing too Much on the Future. When relationships are new, it's not the time to dwell too much on the future. Live for the day. The flush of excitement of a new relationship only happens once. Instead of worrying about what's coming next, enjoy what you have now. Often when one partner is too concerned about the future, the other partner is scared away thinking that they are too serious. Again, live for the moment and enjoy where you are.
6. Failure to Balance Friendships With the Relationship. It's important for each of you to have friends. People often take things very personally when someone talks badly about a friend. Because of these two things, it's critical to allow your partner time with and for their friends while avoiding talking badly about them. No one is perfect - most of our friends have quirks. Just remember that your friends can be a little strange, too. Finally, don't feel threatened when your partner wants to do something with their friends.
7. Failure to Communicate. Open honest communication is one of the most important things in a healthy relationship. When you keep secrets or even feel too embarrassed to discuss your thoughts, it can build walls between you and your partner. Yes, there is a risk that your feelings or thoughts might end up causing problems in the relationship. However, if there's a break-up because you're not compatible, that's OK. In fact it's far better to find that out than to pretend you're something you're not.
8. Forcing your Partner to Change. This is the flip-side of #7. If you can't accept who your partner is, you probably should find someone else. When you force your partner to change, there is often resentment and the changes rarely last. Even when a partner has a real problem, we can't "fix" them. We can encourage, but if they don't commit to the change on their own, it just won't happen.
9. Blaming Your Partner. A relationship takes two people. So do relationship problems. It can be very difficult and often painful to admit our part in relationship problems, but an honest look at our actions is critical. If you expect your partner to face the blame for a problem all alone, don't be surprised when they don't want to do anything else with your either.
10. Staying After the Feeling is Gone. If you're just going through the motions in a relationship, your partner knows it. If the relationship is worth saving, you both need to talk and find a way to reignite the spark If not, you should be honest enough to admit that the relationship is over. Often we're stuck in these ruts because the uncomfortable "known" seems better than the scary "unknown." In reality, a flat relationship will not last, and will often lead to serious conflict.work it out.
what ifs, what not, would you?
01 November 2009 4:53:00 pm
in the end, its still so painful.we all dream of happy endings. we all dream of fairy tales. we all dream of great dreams. no one wants a painful ending. but somehow, we will go thru' it if not how are we gonna overcome greater hurdles in life?
i have no idea if we/I have made the right decision. thinking back, yeah, maybe i regret, but either ways, would it have been better? giving the 2nd chance for us to try again, guess i couldn't even give you a concrete yes or no. being paranoid due to the past, i couldn't give my all, prioritized other things, but still needed assurance from you. you tried, but didn't get what you need and decided this would be the best for us. i agreed as i didn't think there was any other option, i couldn't promise or commit anyway..my feelings kept fluctuating, i don't know why..i kept holding back my emotions, kept holding back all the sweet-nothings that i wanted to say to you in order to protect myself from being hurt again. i was afraid that i would be saying things i didn't mean. freak the paranoia. you didn't get the needed assurance from me but at the same time i was hoping for more assurance & effort from you. slowly, i pulled myself away, withdrew myself. just within one week, everything changed. i know it hasn't been easy for you. i guess you were prepared for it too. i don't know what the future holds. it hurts that you're being firm bout this, since i'm the softy kind. but it will definitely help us to move on from here. i never thought i would be that affected by this. this seriously sucks. exams in 2+weeks ARGH. its not helping.
what if i can't? what if i don't have the strength to?
happy belated b'day, ilu.
