hopeless n helpless.
21 October 2007 3:37:00 pm
hopeless n helpless. HAPPY BIG FAT 21ST B'DAY SWEE LEE, my pageant partner ((:
HAPPY B'DAY my dearest SHERYL LOW & bountiful blessings CHARLOTTE LIM.
HARRPPIEEE B'DAY GWENNIEEE!!! :D
erm qho else did i miss? so mani b'days this month!
Anyway, I told myself, October is like a new lease of life for me. Hall pageant has ended, so the mugging season is here. But seriously, what have i done last week? I look back. One word.
nothing. I feel so helpless at times when i have to spend so much time on a topic, just to understand it thoroughly. I'm not competiting with anyone, instead, the textbook and tutorials are my competitors as I can't even overcome them. I have never felt so stupid in my entire life with the overseas scholars around me who already have the knowledge or whatever they are learning now. my knowledge is zero compared to theirs. Its so demoralising at times when you see them nodding their heads and I'm just sitting there like an idiot. I just don't belong there. They have the extensive knowledge I don't. They are math/physics olympiad gold/silver medalist. I just hope i don't get kicked outa this programme anytime soon. I wonder how long can I hold on for. Playing catching up all the way. I'm feeling so helpless that I don't even wanna try to help myself. oh like wth.
Math mid term exam ytd. Ok, i'm definitely gonna FAIL. confirm. like get at most 20/100? i know it. everyone came out of the LT saying "oh sure die, sure fail, i'm dead." yes, cauz ur wun get ur full marks, but ur def wun fail. argh. utterly depressing when i'm around a bunch of smarties and i'm the stupidest of them all. everyone obviously has high expectations. i'm only hoping for a pass cauz i know i can't make it. Prof Fedor told us the math we learn in one sem is the math MSE students learn in 3 sems. wow, like say bye to my GPA. i shall just go back to chem engin and stop taking the CN Yang modules. anyway, i SU-ed my math. heh. there's physics test 2mr and chem test this coming thur and bio test the following monday. ok i know i'm being such a complain queen, its so emotionally draining its sucking up all my energy. Exams are in 3 weeks. I didn't SU bio, and i got absolutely no bio background at all. this sem is a goner for me. I will pesevere no matter what. Next sem will be better. i hope.
So glad to still have some dear peeps around me to encourage me. My dearest ah bu bu! and i thought we'll lose touch after we parted to different schools. sigh, i'm so glad you came on last last tues to my hall ((: ting yan & roy, i totally miss late nites with ur. we'll pizza at my crib soon! ruo ning n glenn, my all time fav couple. sarahrah! i hope you're ok. hold on my dear gal ((:
jie meis. we gotta meet for gwennie's b'day aight?
And my dear ELLYNE. i'm in ur shoes too. focus for now. trash the jerks. haa. around for you to rant anytime yeah.
i shall be gone for now. can't focus on physics. argh. i'm gone. take care all cauz the exams period are here ((:
yes i was right. now its time to focus and move on.
help me to forget...
monochrome part two.
satisfied with our food. see the tummies?
WE HEARTS KOREAN BUFFET! awon korean restaurant at excelsior hotel ((:
i love "constance" koh ming xiu!
SWEE la!
