30 April 2007 11:37:00 pm
and i don't feel the same.cloud nine cloud nine. and then somehow, i fall through and drop into the black hellish pit hole.
last tuesday's meet up with cher was sweet. dinner,choc cake from cedele and talk talk talk. it was great gal friend loving session. it's been so long. i hope i'm the same pinky you know girl, all ears for you anytime. we'll have more dinner sessions ogays?
last week was peaceful, w/o BOSS around. wow wow whee. friday night! dinner with BFF ade, shir and brother paul ((: holland v's crystal jade kitchen. fried eeefuuuu noodles, 1/2 a roasted chicken and fried silver fish. and then gelare was under renovation ): sadness is a tragedy. so we bought two tubs of ben & jerry's. HEAVENLY. we finished the 1st tub of dublin mudslide in 5-10min. gobbles gobbles. then on to the 2nd tub marsha marsha marshmellow. ade and shir were feeling sian of the super ubber sweet ice cream, so i was the only surviving soul who has such a sweet tooth. i practically finished half of the 2nd ben & jerry's tub. paul ate some too.utterly sinful, knowing the fact that ting yan said i grew fatter. haha. the after effect of gorging myself with ice cream on a bloated tummy is horrendous. i could burst any instant. the glutton in me. hee. it was a great night. love.
the boys are outa camp! ((: miss roy and geek. slacked at home the whole of saturday afternoon. ran 5km in the gym and it was time to meet the gang. zouk/phuture was darn crowded with an on-going event, so we headed over to MOS. to think that we actually walked all the way there along the river that led to clarke quay, beautiful night, haha. goodness. super dope time. roy cheak glenn ruoning lynn reina joan. tingyan couldn't make it. music wasn't great at first. as usual, DJ played some unknown songs and reggae-ish tunes. then, the music got better. crazy fun with the gals. oh roy, we did it again, drinks we didn't need to pay for. and i LUV you rei, when it was only left with me & you, cheak, roy. more perky times to come gal fren. ((:
happy sunday with andre he, although i bet he was bored stiff when we towned. save more moo lah for GSS. i'm dead broke now.
super tired. labour day tomorrow, no work! its spideeeeman time on labour day (official opening) with BFF ade, ryan, shawn and tian ning. we got SECOND row tix at jurong point, of all places, haha. all the other cinemas are packed my neck's gonna break. neck guard anyone? i miss my BFF! can't wait for the spiderman movie tomorrow.yays. oh, i bought a cute pink kit kat file yesterday. ((:
i'm gone.
i want to swim away but don't know how
sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
let the waves up take me down
let the hurricane set in motion (yeah)
let the rain of what I feel right now.. come down
let the rain come down
25 April 2007 9:07:00 pm
so flawed.we flying first class up in the sky
pop the champagne
living the life in the fast lane
and I won't change
by the glamorous, oh
the flossy flossylast thursday's CN yang scholars interview was...upsetting. i called momsie n cried after the interview. me and my itchy mouth, saying those stupid-never-say-those-stuff to the interviewer.and answering that virginia tech qns the interviewer asked so bimbotically that they all laughed and sniggered at me. a miracle please.
last friday: HAPPY NINETEEEEEN BEEEEDAY my dear chan kaipotpot.
so we all met up on friday nite.it was quite chaotic, cauz everyone was LATE except ade,huiyi,alana,meiyi,mj and me. Gosh.the location: pitstop cafe at boat quay. ok,it was either that or hOOters. but sheryl told me to choose pitstop instead. somehow, we didn't expect the place to turn out that way. it was OK. but i felt really bad, did i choose the wrong location? but i gave choices too right? argh, it doesn't help that some of the rogues had money restrictions, hOOters will be much more ex. so yeah. so we waited a thousand years before the main character came, ms chan kai yin! we made lotsa noise, bet the pitstop people were so pissed off. cut cake! yummy goodwood park hotel durian cake ((: it was a lil weird when we left the place and headed towards clarke quay, groupies/cliques. we had AZABU SABO's ice cream! oh,i'm so into the dark choc and green tea flavour. happiness is in a cup of azabu sabo ((:
we missed the last bus/mrt home. cab cab cab.
saturday was mad retail therapy time again. so no one asked me out and i was just waiting&waiting since i didn't know who to ask. then the calls started coming in. 1st, it was ting yan. then mj & meiyi. then kai pot. wow,ching,everybody want's you! YA right. so i met tingyan in town and asked the rest to join me, but none did (MJ & meiyi met up with ade at bugis.idiots, haha). shopping with a guy is quite difficult sometimes. hmmmm. they don't come out of the dressing room decked out in skirts and tubes. but i helped that stupid tingyan choose a pretty nice zara polo tee. looked chi-chi enuff. thank me geek. i was contemplating whether to get my 89.90 zara slingbacks the whole time. sorry geek,u had to put up with my incessant noises and undecisiveness. ): i know i took so long to decide, was so whiny and irritated the shit outa ya. that poor guy was yawning throughout our retail therapy session. i know i'm a bore, but you were too direct geek. hee. then i met kaiyin & janet when tingyan left. walked around and headed for thai express for dinner. SO embarrasing. on the way to thai express,i didn't see a yellow "wet floor" board that those cleaners usually place on the ground. being the blind and cock-eyed me, i walked right into it and it slammed down loudly on the floor.i gave a loud scream and everyone around me and inside spagheddies stared at me. it didn't help that janet immediately fled from the scene, which was so damn obvious. i followed suit. so poor kai yin stood there, alone. but i was still the idiot as everyone knew i was the culprit. dessert at food republic and it was home sweet home.
sorry charissa, didn't join ya at ur sweet 18 bash at butter fac. i'm sure u had fun.cheerios! ((: <3
sunday: church in the morning. lunch at lau par sat with mom and church friends. then off for a quick gal fren loving with reina in town. shop shop shop. its an obsession that i gotta curb now. i totally burnt a hole in my wallet. within 9days i've spent around 400 bucks (or more?) excluding foodie. this weekend, i bought a dress & cute undies from topshop, tube from zara, big bag from mango and two tops from chaos. ): kai yin knocked some sense into me on sunday night. bah, to think i almost wanted to get that pretty metallic dress.haha. ok, its time to act like a pauper! save save save for a holiday trip in june.
monday: took leave w/o boss' approval.but i had to. MOE teaching award interview ): but it went quite ok. the interview session was 10min or less. quicky. headed to NUS to submit some documents and back home. suppose to head over to ade's but it was raining cats and dogs. sadness. kai yin came over in the night to swim ((: i taught her breaststroke and we had heaps of laughter. looking into the big toilet mirror..we hate our bodies and the two piece doesn't do any justice to it.happy night!
anyway, boss hasn't been around at work, he's on a cheeeena trip, shanghai. YAY! like everyone in the thunderhawk project team is rejoicing. tuesday, we ordered golden pillow delivery to celebrate; the absence of our boss. omg, we're evil. and some of my colleagues ain't young. quite yummy. today was a slack day. tomorrow is vannan's b'day. so we're ordering KFC MEGA feast and a choc b'day cake. eat eat eat, see how i turn into a pig. i'm one now, ting yan said i grew fatter. wow, ok ): i just ate skippy strawberry jam peanut butter and potato fries+ chips + dinner + raisins. someone sponser me at marie france bodyline? any offers?
can't wait for saturday night. the guys will be booking outa camp and the gang will be meeting :D excitation. really miss the gang. can't wait. weekend weekend weekend.
yeah maybe, that's the way it is.
my selfishness.
15 April 2007 10:27:00 am
selfish.that talk with shir over yong tau foo soup. oh so great. made me realise sth big time. she knocked some big rock on my gong dong head and made my eyes open wide to see the world after being so ignorant about whatever's been happening around me.
i suddenly feel so selfish. i am, so selfish, my whole entire life. friends are always giving in to me without even me realising. makes me feel like some small girl who can't grow up. i take my friends for granted and do not appreciate them. i'm not grateful to what they've done for me. so much so i want to be the best friend i can, showering them with love and concern, being selfless, i failed.
i don't know if i'm plain bimbotic blonde, an idiot or a bitch. gosh, how can i be so ignorant to what has been going on?! i don't even remember the words i say or realise what i have done would lead to such a terrible situation. maybe i chose to ignore the reality of the situation and carry on with that nonchalance..until it's too late. i don't even realise that i've changed. the old ching, non-existent? i guess sometimes we have to move on from where we are and we'll evolved into someone new, change a lil due to the new lifestyle we pick up with the new friends we hang out with. but is the change in me that big that even i couldn't realise? she made me realise my partying ways every weekend or fortnightly has changed my entire lifestyle and caused me some of my friendships. has my total attitude changed too? the way i speak, the words i use, my actions, the way i behave. i do not think i can find back the old ching because once we move off from that phase, how are we to step back into the past again? but i hope the ching that always listens, be there for you and is a call away, is what you think of me, because i treasure you so much and you're my only lifetime BFF. i felt misunderstood at times, because there wasn't any ill intentions to whatever i said. our miscommunication. maybe you can't figure me out anymore because you don't know who i am anymore. maybe at times i was too frank, too tactless, too ignorant. i got no excuse, not going to cover up for myself. i was plain selfish. i only wanted to be that perfect friend to everyone, which i failed to. too caught up.
sometimes i wonder why friends come and go. you envy those who still can "effortlessly" keep in contact with so many people. it really amazes you, and you look at yourself, say omg and shoot yourself. sec sch friends i've lost along the way and thought i could keep in contact with them forever, we promised remember? but somehow those promises don't hold. seriously, should i compare myself to others? so who will i be meeting up with 5 years down the road? another group of new friends? no lifetime friends? worrying.
wednesday. goodbye dinner for roy. we ate at crystal jade la mian xiao long bao, holland v. food wasn't very good that night. dumpling skins super thick, meat filling was LOUSY. crystal jade is so overrated. we should have just eaten lamian. i ate a total of TEN different kind of huge dumplings! then we had a statue-of-liberty looking ice cream at gelare ((: heaven. bye bye botak roy!
shopped with my dear bitch yesterday. we're both so disgusting. we were suppose to meet at 3pm, but we were both late and met at 4pm at marina square instead. i need a wardrobe overhaul. it was MAD MAD RETAIL THERAPY. Bought a dress from topshop, shorts and a stripped spag top from Fox, a denim skirt from mango and a cute lil monster tee from zara. total bill, hmmm, i shall not say. madness! couldn't control myself, reina was like, "yes ching, get it, buy it." i did it again ): impulsive shopaholic. i saw this gorgeous gold pointeeee flats from zara. i'm swooning over it. its 89.90 bucks. i must save more ((: then we didn't have time for dinner cauz rei had to rush off. we had ice cream at
Azabusabo. it states "healthy and low fat". you all gotta try it! it's amazing. my first time trying it and the taste is just right. not too sweet. i had dark chocolate and rei had green tea flavour. omg, it was like drinking green tea itself. taste was light and not creamy at all. we're happy gals ((:
i got CN-yang scholars interview at NTU next thursday. i'm shaking all over. pretty scared actually. pray for me dear all. i really need the scholarship. i'll just not worry, do my preparation and leave everything to Him. he won't short change anyone of your. believe, trust, have faith and it will given unto you.
i'm off to church!
I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past
I just can't seem to move on
I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need them again someday
I've been setting aside time to clear a little space in the corners of my mind
[Haley Bennett & Hugh Grant]
All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make through without a way back into love
Oh
09 April 2007 8:01:00 am
betrayed. crushed.i feel old. i'm aging! help. Oh,
HAPPY EASTER EGGS!haha, pyjamas party at glenn's on 31st march wasn't all that kinky as one would imagine. hur hur nahs. everyone was tired and falling sick. we all caught the sneezing virus. so we held back on the drinks and snacks. we had movie marathon, Barnyard was the epitome of cutesy. super hilarious and corny jokes. made me cringed in pain so many times. super cartoon comedy. den we kinda started falling asleep caused the rest of the movies sucked.poor roy, tingyan n i had to squeeze on a single mattress on the floor ): as usual, ruo ning and glenn were in their OWN world. haha. room was super cold and the blanket was so small and thin.we kept tossing and turning on the bed, so we couldn't really sleep. *stares at tingyan. grrrr. SO tired. we had hearty McDelivery breakfast :D I had hotcakes with sausage. happy cakes!
Then we watched "the last kiss", lazed around, played PS2, snacked on food then it was home sweet home. It was a great get together. I simply love the gang. I hope it will be a fortnight thing. I wish.
sometimes things don't go as planned. you just paint a beautiful castle for yourself, a make-belief happy world, to make yourself feel loved.
Last monday, met clara dear for dinner after work. at last,after soooo long ((: we dined at holland v's swensens. baked rice and topless five. it was great catch up session with my dear eeyore. haha. sorry if i was a total bore dear. cam-whored at starbucks and we coffee-shopped sit with nachos&cheese n green tea. we'll meet up soon again gal. haf a great time at school ((: i wan the photos clara!
Work’s been pretty hectic this few days. So many new drawings to photocopy. My daily work routine is so so…omg…lets just say, I’m like a robot. It’s the same old shit everyday. Stamping…photocopying…filing…yawns…I’m so tired already.
HAPPY EASTER FRIDAY! I mean good Friday yeah ((: I didn’t really understand pastor’s message ): But the small cute lil girl sitting in front sure did entertain both small tim and I ((: Headed over to J8 for late lunch at crystal jade kitchen with small tim, gab, dan, john quek and heidi. It’s been sooooo long since I went out with that bunch of retards. Ok, small tim and quek were just rambling about army, army and ARMY. Heidi just stoned throughout lunch. Haha. We each ordered a bowl of noodles and six “lan” of tim sum :D yumm yumm, was my shrimp wanton noodle. Small tim’s beef brisket noodle soup was heavenly too. Everyone was ubber piggish, the plates of tim sum were overwhelming. Ah, pig out! John quek did NOT treat us in the end, but we’re gonna force him to when he books out with a $700+ OCS pay cheque. Damn.
Dan and gab can really make me crack, but gab’s words sometimes prick me real painfully. Haha, overall, it was a great catch up session. We sat down to talk till the whole lunch crowd left. I guess they are the only one who can make me feel all warm and comfy in plmc. Yes, I’m friendless and one big fat loner.
Seriously, it was suppose to be some great friday night but everyone just started backing out. And seriously, it wasn't even my business to text some people, but everything just fell into my hands. Wth, i was like the victimised messenger. It was such a hassle to text everyone and to find out that almost ALL of them couldn't make it in the end. Goodness. Pissed off. I'm just not gonna care anymore. Some even had the chick to sound angry with me. Oh of course, you didn't understand all the shit I went through. Shit, i shall stop complaining.
Stupid pungsai Reina pangsei-ed me. So Saturday afternoon was lonely and stormy. We were suppose to go shopping but she was working at the zoo in the morning. I bet she was scrubbing some smelly pig’s arse and cleaning up their brown shit. I bet you loved the smell bitch! Hurhur. SO we were suppose to meet at 3+pm. Then, it started to rain heavily at my place and she had to meet her friends at 6pm. So, shop wad? We’re gonna meet this Saturday yeah. Whoever pangsei, will have to shave her head. We took an oath already bitch. I’m so NOT gonna be the one shaving my head. I really wish to see your head like one of roy's and tingyan's, botak army boys. haaaaa..
It was off to grandpa’s house in the evening. Grandpa lost so much weight after those 10 days in hospital )):. He looks so frail, weak and breakable. He’s calves and thighs are as big as my arms, super long beans. He’s like 30+kg only but around my height. It’s really freaky, and he’s appetite is not very big. Argh.
HAPPY EASTER SUNDAY! easter eggs! Ok, easter Sunday is all about Jesus’ resurrection, but I’m like wth, Easter has become so commercialized that, what?, shopping malls celebrated Easter too? Find-the-Easter-egg-among-the-bushes contest? Companies marketing those chocolate Easter eggs and stuffs? Oh, though I would really love to eat the chocolate Easter eggs, yumm, haa. Yeah, I guess its fun that way. But still. It’s just like Christmas, over commercialised. Oh wells. Easter has lost its real meaning.
Had some stuff on in church. Then headed over to ade’s for some dvd session with everyone. We watched the grudge 2. so freaky can? Everyone was bent on scarring me ): ok, i can be really brave man. They were just underestimating me. Those scary movies don’t freak me out as much as before, I hope. Argh. Had a yummy zhi-cha dinner with her family. Watch that tummy girl!
My appetite has been horrendous lately. I'm eating at least one chocolate bar everyday and eating lotsa skippy crunchy peanut butter directly from the bottle. That's not including all my BIG meals. yumm yumm. So people if you see me on the street, please don't say i turned into a pig already. It's 8am.Boss just arrived. i'm off to do some photocopying and stamping till my eyes go red.
don’t wanna try don’t wanna try don’t wanna try no more.
so tired. holding on to the last bit of it. things are really so different now. everything feels so weird. do you ....?
