31 March 2007 1:42:00 pm
hope dangles on a string.new blogskin ((: just wanted to try out something new.
online chatting about church with dan and the church peeps i used to hang out with didn't help. If only there was someone beside me to comfort me as those lemon drops rolled down. I really wonder what i go to church for. Yes i love Him, i believe in Him. As much as i try to listen to sermon, i don't seem to be absorbing anything beneficial from it. Its like, every thing's washed away once i leave the place. Its such a spiritual battle. I really don't wanna go for church camp. I just wanna shut myself from them. I can't face them when i'm just standing alone on that freaking ground.
they are laughing at you loner.Gotta work later at Gwen's parents NTU alumni club restaurant. Then its to glenn's place for kinky pyjamas party. nightgowns and kinky shit. haha, nahs.kidding.shhhyzerr. Just a good stayover with some 05s17 peeps with great company, mahjong, bitchy talks, foodie, dvds and booze. blast it off. i'm gone.
call on me. don't just forget me. remember how way back we started off.
my skinny twin.
what goes around, comes around.
29 March 2007 10:46:00 pm
what goes around, comes around.y'all gon' make me lose my mind up in HERE, up in here
y'all gon' make me go all out up in here, up in here
y'all gon' make me act a FOOL up in HERE, up in here
y'all gon' make me lose my cool up in here, up in here
bloody dope.
i look FAT. ok ,roy and cheak look retarded seriously,haaas.
cai, ur don't look fugly here ok?
It has been a great weekend ((: Friday night,Cai drove over to pick me up with David and Ret in the car. Cai looks totally idiotic in his dad's big car, doesn't help that he's quite petite for a guy. hur hur. Cai drove home and we cabbed down to the cannery. Met up with yi jie, then chilled out at TCC till around 10-ish pm. Saw ourselves at MoS after that, Roy & Cheak came too. Tiff Ting joined us later. Mood wasn't there. Poor tiff was tired and hungry. So we all accompanied her to 7-11 for a quick bite then we went back in again. By then, yi jie was super stonned already. poor guy. Smoove was super crowded. guess nothing beats my nights with dawnie dear ((: But i had fun with my sec 4d mates, its been long since we had such get togethers. We shall call more along the next time, oh yes, kenneth's coming out! Cai and Cheak, thanks for the drinks!
looker.boring saturday, but mom was happy that i was a good gal.haa.
Sunday. It was a sudden decision for me to attend church with ade and her family. Hearty breakfast at jurong east. Sermon speaker was ubber looooong-wiiiinded.
Then tim, chryz, lembu, shir, ade and me had lunch at Westmall's pastamania while their parents lunched at the foodcourt. Headed over to ade's place! i miss my times at ade's. Mysteriously, i didn't binge on any food at her place. haha. Headed over to tingyan's place around 5+pm to join the groupie. It was a night which was initially supposed to be spent at the pool side with food and drinks, a mini-farewell for dorcky dear. But, things somehow didn't go as planned, all of us were super stonned in HOT&STUFFY tingyan's bedroom. a gonner. damn. cabbed home sweet home.
welcome to the nunnery.GOODBYE dorcas! I'll dream of you in aussie ((:
I had a weird dream last night. I am so freaked out. It was so real, not reel. I dreamt that i lost four of my bottom front teeth. I was brushing my teeth and then four of my teeth just suddenly crumbled and popped out of my gums! ): I still can remember the blood oozing out of my gums. The cause of it? I ate too much chilli, and all the chilli seeds got stuck somewhere and caused my teeth to decay. It was quite sick, cauz the chilli seeds spilled out just as my teeth came outa my gums. Fountain of chilli seeds. haha. sadness is a tragedy. I woke up in fright and felt my teeth, "wah thank God my teeth are still in place." freaky.
Boss has been quite ok lately, no PMS and "menopausal" symptoms. He's just like a china doll. whatever. So work has been quite peaceful, just that those wimpy welding foremen and QA/QC male colleagues are super assholic. Treating Merine & I like maids, well not exactly, but they expect us to do many things for them, but hell no. And an irritating male colleague sends me ridiculous smses. Argh, I wonder where all these guys came from, oh, blacky land? hur.
Yes, its gonna be the weekend again. ((: So looking forward to the gang's pyjamas party on saturday night at glenn's place. haha, ok not really pyjamas. we decided not to boogey the night out at some sardine-packed dance floor and wells, try something new instead. Hopefully, things will turn out great. I miss geek! Geek went into sispec and will be booking out this weekend. yays. i miss the gang. But i think i gotta work on sat night at ntu alumni club ): oh wells. i'll be gone for now.
I thought best friends last forever.
Hate it when everyone moves on to different phases of life. Everything around me changes. Ironically, those whom i treasure most drift away from me and the most unexpected people come into your life. New friends we make, but why am I always losing my close ones whom i thought will be beside me for life? Is there no depth to the word forever? Why. How much i want to amend things and salvage the situation, but once we move on, it seems as though we can't catch up with time anymore. How i wish things were the same as last time. If my life was a movie, i'll rewind and pause at that moment, forever. click.
please don't say goodbye or the end.
look deeper beneath my skin
23 March 2007 7:34:00 pm
look deeper beneath my skin.Wanna love me
Wanna touch me
Think twice 'cause you gotta long way to go
Don't know how to act
Better fall back
It's like that 'cause you gotta long way to go
It's not that deep
Take it easy
You wanna please me
You gotta long way to go
I'ma bad girl
You wanna get close
Ease up 'cause you gotta a long way
Merine's MP3 songs are really like dope. It's driving me nuts.
What a weekend spent with my favourite friends ((: Met tingyan and roy at vivo on the beautiful hot sunny Saturday. Haha. Miss geek. Stupid geek tingyan has been in army and kept missing the weekends with us. He wants to “cleanse” himself for now, so he ain’t joining us on sat nights now. Bleah. Reina joined us later on. Guys and gals split their paths and went shopping. I got a brown skirt, yellow tank and blue tube. Yes, at last shopping is productive, after sooooooo long… Just had to get my hands on something, pamper myself after all that hard work ): Saw this really nice silver-ish gold pointy pumps at river island! It cost $135. Should I or should not? I also saw a white holeeeey pointy pumps from pull & bear, $79.90. Now I know why they say, when you’re rich, you can look good no matter what. Cauz you can afford anything nice and most of the nice stuff are so ex. ): It’s been so long since me n Rei chatted, thought time wasn’t on our side, we did catch up quite a bit ((: then Rei had to leave :/ Had fried fish meat noodles for dinner while the two stupid boys watched me eat. They ate subway earlier. Bused home on no. 61. Home sweet home.
I skipped church on Sunday. Why did I do it? I have no idea. PLMC is really causing lots of confusion in me. I think many of the churches in Singapore are so obsessed with hierarchy, that man’s focus ain’t on God anymore. Look beneath that congregation, you see a whole lot of politics among the church leaders. Men rule the church here. I’m so sick of the BLEAH sermons and traditional rules & regulations that bound everyone to the ground. Shouldn’t we be led by the Holy Spirit and walk by faith and not be helmed down by all those rules or do’s & don’ts? Instead, we become so theoretical that we lose focus. He is displeased.
Met my best guy bud Andre He in the aft! He’s flying of to macau or china on Tuesday so I got to see him before he goes off. Met him at great world city to get a top I reserved at Zara, then headed over to city hall for awhile then to vivo’s marche` for dinner (the food was NOT good) . His other poly friends were there too. Velda’s leaving for aussie on Monday night. Journey mercies ((: It was total fun & laughter, just felt a little lost at times when they talked bout their poly life. Haha. Then we went window shopping before the shops closed. I had to rush back home cauz dear mom & dad were barking at my back. So tired..
Monday.. Stupid Cheak Hong Ian went off to KL with his JC friends and FORGOT to give me a goodbye call in the early morning ): stupid brother pea. Cheak, you better get me lots of prezzies when ur back or else, no porridge treat for you. :D anyway, my boss is still pretty ass, he just got this stick stuck up his ass. I shall not allow work stress to cause me anymore breakouts on my face. Calm down ching!
Tuesday wasn’t a pretty day.
Forgot to bring my phone to work yesterday. Sorry dudes! I seriously think my boss suffers from hormonal imbalance and PMS. He’s always barking at someone every single day, well, maybe except me cauz I’m a temp. staff, but he can be unhappy with me at times. My appetite has been really horrid. Horrid as in horrifyingly BIG. I’m quite freaked out myself. Was I born in the wrong year? Not dragon right? I think it’s the year of the pig. Damn, I really hate it when I keep stuffing food into my mouth like practically every hour. Wow, see me balloon. Hahaha.
Had dental appointment, noon time. Omg, Dr Chong says my teeth are moving too slowly. So, he added this coil-like thing and some thin rubber band.. I'm in pain now. It's back to square one. Eating soft food. I'm wrenching in pain ): can't eat my favourite sticky chewy chocolate bars. I gotta improve my dental hygiene too, though i brush my teeth like 2-3 times a day. sigh. Met my dear bitch Reina after that. Shopping time ((: We only managed to comb taka, wisma, some far east shops & shaw house. I spent alot again. It's just a snowball kinda thing. I don't spend freaking alot each time, but I've been really buying ALOT recently, so my bills keep snowballing ): my poor wallet. But i guess i'm too deprived of shopping during the month of February. Thankfully i'm working, but i still gotta save for uni time. Bought a pair of white shoes, a top from forever 21 and a brown bag from Aldo. SWEET PLEASURE, hearing that cash machine go ka-ching! Haha, ruo ning told me, we gotta start our clothes collection now to prepare for uni. She says that you gotta have at least 30 going out tops so that you're wearing something different every day. So, for the next month, the cycle repeats itself, well, in different permutations and combinations i guess. what a joke. haha. Had dinner at food republic then we just talked & talked. Didn't catch a movie in the end, timings were quite cocked up. it was a REALLY great catch up session with Rei. That poor gal, couldn't find anything she wanted except for that brown topshop bag, 93 bucks. Quick buy it before it's gone. haha. I'll see ya next Saturday bitch. We're gonna get stuff for a steal at holland v and be the best waitresses in Singapore at NTU alumni club's restaurant. hurhur.
cheers to chi-chi life ((:
Its the WEEKEND finally. My weekend is so packed. gonna meet sec 4d classmates later in the night. Its either phuture or MoS. Then tomorrow is chemical & biomolecular engineering seminar in one of the city hotels with ruo ning, then dinner with clara dearest (at last! after SO long). Sunday is HIS day and most prolly meeting up with my dear guys, tingyan, roy, CHEAK after that. + surprise guest, dorcas lim shao jiao! My dear dorcky is flying off to aussie on wednesday ): i'm so gonna miss her, my pillar of strength when i was a silly jc1 student. so i guess we're gonna just chill out over some drinks and FOOD. I'm happy. I need more catch up sessions. So next on my catch-up list is my BFF ade, shir, gen & the rogues.
better get dressed up for now. i'm gone ((:
super dope.
17 March 2007 11:24:00 am
super dope.I'm over-worrying and i know that. That lack of self-confidence and inferiority complex. Argh. SO damn getting the better of me.
Anyway, i kinda screwed and messed up my online admission applications. wasted the whole of Monday. sadness. when shall i quit my job? low paying, so busy, fucked up boss, mundane duties, non-stop eating. but i got COOL colleagues. if i quit, I'll be penniless and jobless. I feel so sad for the trees too. Everyday, the paper consumption is ubber high, thousand over pieces of paper being used and jammed up in the stupid photocopier. I remember my goal since secondary school was to become an environmentalist and go on a mission to SAVE THE EARTH after i finish my studies. People laugh at my goal.haha. I pictured myself on national geographic channel or maybe working for national geographic, going to Brazil and many other countries to tell people to save the earth. Really feel sad for the ailing animal population and the poor trees and plants. Omg, i sound so dumb. But yes, its damn sad. Soon, the whole earth will be some super polluted place. Concrete jungle.
Another goal, inspired by the shopaholic book, to be a personal shopper. But its not really a professional profession here. All my unrealistic goals.
Everyone's encouraging me NOT to take chemical & biomolecular engineering. They say, "business!". But business is super hot now. Some think its common enginneering that i wanna take. Nopes. Its something more complex and hopefully, more interesting? with better jobs prospects? i hope. ): But some tell me to follow my interest, physics & math. Cai's taking the chem & biomolecular engin in poly and says its super hard & mugger madness. so wad now?
met up with kenneth, kelvin, audrey, darrell, cai and david at holland v's essential brews on Thursday, after work. after so darn long, we're finally meeting again. reminiscing about those sec sch days... ((: it was like non-stop blabbering, nonsence talk, gossiping, teasing and finger fooding.
nonsensical. was helluva fun. kenneth booked in ytd! aww, army's taking another guy away. hopefully, we're all gonna meet again next Friday night. partaaay. ((:
its the weekend again! met nich ytd evening for 300 at plaza sing. 300 was an ok movie. too narrative, not really for me. But super good plot. lotsa artsy fartsy scenes. call it art, not porn. Greek mythology. it was super bloody, gruesome. adultery, sex, lust, war, bravery, pride, glory, betrayal, greed. all the worldly desires. the spartan men are HOT. omg, every single one of em have super toned and HOT bod. rippling eight packs. and it was showing during the entire show cauz, well, maybe the weather is too hot, so they go around half naked. Oh, maybe its a symbol of bravery, not wearing clothes to show ur bod is toned and you worked out to be one of the finest, hottest spartan warrior. haha. any men would die for their bod. as for the spartan women, super pretty. i wouldn't wanna wear their clothes though, too revealing. Anyway, I might have a new found interest. Gelare! My 1st time eating gelare's ice-cream yesterday night. Had chocolate obsession. I felt like the statue of liberty as i walked around with the long ice cream cone. Guess I'll be caught tongue-lickin' at gelare, pretty soon.
Going to meet ting yan at vivo later for some quick shopping, i hope. i miss that geek ((: then maybe we'll meet the rest later at his place for a super chill-out night. i'm gone ((:
slowly.stealthily.my girls. tiff's 19h. hopefully this will go on forever.
graveyard
12 March 2007 4:26:00 pm
my graveyard.Its been a really tiring week for me. So many late nights of writing essays. I took like 3 nights to finish one :(( Took leave today to complete my scholarship and admission essays. I have so many essays to write. Sigh, i never knew we had to write essays as a added bonus to enter the university. So, being a kiasu Singaporean , i will. Die die, i have to get a scholarship. By God's grace i will. Applying for a few, but i think the competition is rather stiff this year. I don't think mom & dad can live on if they were to bear the burden of my university tuition fees. Worse, pine grove can't enbloc now since not more than 80% of the residents signed for it. Can i say, we're in deep shit pit? No money no talk. oops shit. I should have faith Him. I should. He brought me this far.
Anyway, i shall do a little update. Mr Ling's house is splendid. One word. ROMANTIC. Its not totally superb, but for a HDB, its OMG, a chic-modern touch with a very homey feeling. Our class had a potluck cum housewarming cum CNY gathering at Mr Ling's house (together with his cute pretty wife!). Hong baos! They are really generous. beams*
I totally dig the layout of their house. In future, my crib will be pretty too ((:
Dinnered at sakae with Nich. My treat, lost an 'A' level bet :( haha. Then it was super graveyard at MoS. It really hits you like a roller-coaster, choo choo train. super potent booze. Dripping dirty bitter black. Music was good. All caged up and practically in another world. I think i wasn't standing on solid ground.
I hate work now. Monotonous. So BLEAH. Merine's quiting, should I hand in my resignation too? I'm fed up, i'm tired. Period.
Highlight of the week. Went back to fairfield on Friday evening. Attended the 70th 3rd Girls' Brigade enrollment service. Oh, i forgot that i was once a GB girl. haha. Felt a strong sense of nostalgia as i stepped into school. Haven't been back to sec school for ubber long. Unfamiliar and familiar faces. Old and new GB girls. New fairsians whom I've never seen before. I just couldn't collect my thoughts and was actually quite scared to face everyone. What would i say to them? Will it be weird? Oh man, no chatting topic?! In fact, many of them couldn't recognise me. When i told them who i was, they were like OMG, you look so different. ok, thanks man, i think i evolved into a green monster. It was dinner buffet. Well, it was hell lot of fun. Well, maybe i was a little detached from some of em, somehow.. but it was great seeing everyone again. Is fairfield really where i belong? Then why ain't I close to many of em? Sigh. I felt quite sad that i've distant myself from many of them. Or maybe i'm just born to be a loner. haha. wth. Emo me. ok, shut up shut up. Maybe i shall go back to fairfield to visit my teachers one day.
I hated the way she acted all cocky. After all these years, still the same? Like hello, we sat for the SAME 'A' level exam. YOU, Super Elitist thinking. Maybe you need some brain-washing. Its the new century, woman. NTU open house with chan kai yin on saturday. That woman was late again. And i'm quite a tardy queen. That pot is worse. haha. So, nice & kind Paul accompanied me around the whole day, even when kai yin reached. So sweet of you paul! Went to paul's hostel to look see. Maybe i'll stay in a hostel too huhs. Got to know a hell lot on chemical & biomolecular engineering + the double degree in biomedical sciences & traditional chinese medicine. Quite interested in these two courses. Maybe biological science or life science too? But the pre-requisites are super high. Like everyone in those two faculties are straight A students. Yes, i may qualify, BUT, i'm sure demand is super high :( Maybe i won't do business after all? I'm LOST. Can't decide but i have to submit my application by today since the deadline for some of the scholarships are today. I'm going to be competing with the 'S' paper and 4 As students. Will i regret if i were to put chemical & biomolecular engineering as my 1st choice? What if i don't like it later on? So many doubts and fears. damn.
SMU and NTU open house on sunday. Don't really like SMU though. The layout of the open house booths were quite horrid. Not very "open house-friendly". Anyway i got a new top and shorts! haha. Kai yin was super late, AGAIN. Then kai yin and I headed to NUS. It was much better. And as usual, i asked a hell lot of questions on chem & biomolecular engin. I'm quite sure i'm going to choose this, just that, its either NTU or NUS. I shall just apply for both 1st. I hope its the right decision. argh.
Shall go finish that darn essay. All the best to those who haven't applied, happy writing the admission essays! haha. i'm gone.
my life is getting more and more complicated.Pave my future, lead my way. Not by my flesh.
Glory to HIm,.
03 March 2007 1:07:00 pm
Glory to Him.Insomnia has been really draining me shit deep.It doesn't help that the friday results day and work stress is aggravating the situation. my body feels totally horrid and exhausted.i feel so queasy and intoxicated.am i going to die soon? will i die of lack of sleep, i'm scared. argh. i'm waking up at 2+am and won't sleep from then on, drifting in and out of sleep every half hour. I so need SLEEPING PILLS.
I forgot to bid my dear sydney journey mercies! sydney's gone for 2 months, work attachment in myanmar :( luckily we met up last thurs for dinner. xiao long bao,la mian and guo tie ((: i'm so gonna miss him. tc my dear friend.
Work stress has really gotten the better of me.Work load is increasing and i have to work at a speedy pace. just kill me. we're short handed and i'm just a lil temp staff. maybe i should quit and take a break, or change job?
Celebrated Tiff Ting's b'day on wed. HAPPY NINETEEN DEAR.ur last teenage year. jie meis met up at Bugis' V8 movie cafe for dinner. tiff's bf came along too.haha, poor him, felt so extra. food was ok, cheesy fries was great. then we went back to
old school and decided to take sec sch-ish neoprints.haha, its been awhile since i took neoprints. will upload those retarded pics soon. it was a quick but fab dinner as usual. just hope we'll continue to meet for each jie mei's b'day. don't fly aeroplane!
Knowing the fact that results were going to be out on friday (which was yesterday), really "worsened" my insomnia. super nervous, panicky, thinking about my results 24-7. On thur night,i was going bonkers, talking to myself and going mad. Slept at 11pm but woke up at 2+am and couldn't sleep from then on.it was really horrid.so wanna sleep but i couldn't.its worse than drinking lotsa coffee.sigh. headed to school alone, trembling along the way. settled down with class peeps in the hall. omg kah leng n rong xiang from my class scored 4 As! our class peeps did pretty well too.Ade & sarahrah, i'm so proud of ur too. anyway, CONGRATS to everyone who did well ((: our sch did really really well this year,dragon babies power. a big leap in improvement and no. of As.
I really thank God for my grades. HE really saw me through my whole A'level process. someone pinch me back to reality. Just hope to get a scholarship now, since mom n dad will be financially tight even if they were to send me to a local uni :( sis is in aussie studying, finances have been super tight.argh..
To my dearest
Ade, my beloved bestie, without us pushing each other, i don't know where will we end up. Those fun Mc'donalds moments,large tubs of ice-cream during mugging with mr ryan sheng shiong, late in school, late trips home, cool big dinners on weekends for relaxation, slacking while we're totally sick of the books, mugging while we can, vcds and TV, dinner at your place.. you were my source of strength throughout my two years in JC. yes some people called us like freaking "names"..you know. but we know best right? I hope everything goes back to normal for both of us, although its the fact that things have changed between us, you will ALWAYS be my one and only bestie for life. you heard me? ((:
Mr edmund ling and ms jane lee,ur rock steady! and to mom and dad, i hope i made you proud ((: dad, all those name calling didn't work, but i still forgive you. i know you meant well,somehow.
without HIM, nth is possible.pave my future.heading over to sky's house soon, rogues n ruggers will be there i think.blackjack! mahjong? then its potluck at mr edmund ling's house, at his new crib :D more hong baos i hope ((: shall go see how's my banana cake doing in the oven! i'm gone ((:
