shruggling for bliss
25 February 2007 10:00:00 pm
shruggling for bliss.Round 2.
anyway,i'm so crazy over HANAZAKARINO KIMITACHIHE a.k.a hua yang shao nian shao nu.stars ella, WU ZUN and jiro wang.ella is so cute that you can't help but squeal in delight over her every action and drop dead gorgeous wu zun, ella's reel life love interest, adorable to the max.the show's just so hilarious and comical..i'm dying of eye candy overdose.
chu er : dad's side came over n it was e usual "chu er" big feast. mom will sloggggg out in the kitchen every year before lunch and whip up something yummilicious. mom cooked curry fish head, mixed vege, asam sauce with prawns and corn soup. ma relatives brought roasted duck & pork, stewed pork and some imperial treasure pot,whatever it is. But it was finger lickin' good. ((:
chu san : boring boring in the morning. roy, gare rern, lynn, chin yoong n me visited rui rong's house in the after noon. we were like PIGS.omg,chewing munching and all the SINFUL snacks,non-stop. it was horrendous snacking.played black jack n watched da ge da on channel U. hur hur. had steamboat dinner at home. gosh,just as the soup started to boil, our steamboat pot broke down. den we substituted it with another pot which broke down too. damn. lose screws here and there. it was a pot belly day. hear my buttons go pop pop pop.
this CNY has made me so sick of eating. but i just can't stop eating. ain't it ironical?i'm so sick of looking at the food because i feel so darn disgusted with myself for the non-stop binging. my appetite has sky rocketed.worse,my work place's pantry is stocked up with so MANY CNY goodies! oh man,soft moist kuek lapis, crunchy crispy mixed nuts, sweet pineapple tarts, prawn rolls. oh man. so while working,i'm munching away. i kinda hate my job now.i'm like stamping thousands of pieces of drawings with the red stamp "controlled copy". i really hope i don't go bonkers and have nightmares about "controlled copy". my earlier filing job has already caused me to have insomia. i've had ENOUGH. good sleep please God, please. so now, i'm like a document controller now :)) woah. anyway, the peeps working in the thunderhawk project are quite cool. i'm laughing like almost every hour with Merine around. Noreman is a malay but he keeps singing chinese songs to attract our attention. uncle latiff is mr hip & hot uncle. peter lee, the assistant construction manager is a greedy pig who slacks all day but can earn big bucks. most noticeable person around,the oh-so-damn-serious-during-work-time mr wang:the project manager. overall,my work place people may even be funkier than we teenagers. they have life, night life.
had company CNY dinner on friday night at pioneer seafood restaurant. food is SO-SO, but it was fun ((: yu sheng! every part of the dinner was hilarious, more laughter with merine, the 30 year old koo koo woman.
i'm happy!
lazy saturday morning and afternoon. met nich in the evening for movies. had dinner at some indonesian restaurant. we're never going back there!haha
Movie of the week:
Notes on a scandal.woah woah,i'm getting more
intellectual man. *beams. usually i only watch simple, easy-to-understand chick flicks. i'm so proud of myself, the 1st intellectual movie that i can understand so-so. hahaha. it was a really good movie. worth the few oscar nominations. the show had some female kind of brokeback mountain, only that the love was one-sided. goodness, a 70+ year old woman liking a 30+ year old woman,mistaking friendship for a relationship. then the 30+ year old woman committed adultery by having an affair with her 15year old art student. quite thrilling actually, with the freaky sound effects. then we met up with roy, glenn, cheak and ruo ning. music + crowd, not really great. dance floor,sardine packed. we left early.
anyway, i know i'm rather over-sensitive here, but i'm really bothered by this, really. roy just told me that some people have been asking him about me, saying that i club alot and get wasted everytime. like wtf? do you think i'm that dumb to get wasted everytime.like hell no. i've learnt my lesson already after that ONE or TWO times. and i don't frequent em alot. i'm not some crazy party animal. make me sound like some loose shit who loves to get wasted and don't know what i'm doing. sorry, but i do know what i'm doing now.maybe i've been acting retarded and idiotic when you see me. it was on purpose for some instances, for the fun of it.maybe ur think ur know it all. but sorry, stop judging me when you haven't judged yourself.i'm not perfect.i feel like some rotten fugly shit sometimes. i know i'm being so defensive here. but you don't have to make me feel that bad right? i sound so defensive here cauz i feel like i've always been treated like a child. i know sometimes i need many people to take care of me cauz ur claim that i can be too bimbotic at times. yes i know this bimbo here can be an irritating big ass.thanks to all my close friends who care for me, i really really appreciate it, your are always protecting me and taking care of me like a lil sister. but all those who ain't that least close to me, stop putting me down yeah.maybe your don't know that it really hurts, but it does, to me. sorry if i've hurt you too.i've said my piece.relieved.
sometimes i don't know why i go to church. sometimes i wish i had the discipline to pray and do my quiet time every single day.sometimes i wish life wasn't so routine.sometimes i wish God would speak to me directly and tell me everything is alright. my spiritual walk hasn't been all that smooth-sailing.i feel myself falling deeper and deeper into the dark hole.
skipped service this morning, though i was at church.i see no point seriously,no reason why. sat inside chruch library and starting reading about the main cults.mormonism...blah blah.my family and some church peeps went over to a friend's house for lunch with strangers around.haa. we had mini-worship and prayer session. headed to cityhall for lonely shopping. a loner,sadly. seeing people with their friends and couples together, i suddenly felt like hiding in one corner. but somehow, i like shopping alone at times, i can take my own sweet time, self-reflect.ok, that sounds retarded.bought a new pair of black heels and i got myself the "SHOPAHOLIC AND BABY" book by sophie kinsella! it was just released and its the No. 1 non-fiction book now ((: best seller man. haha. so love the shopaholic series.i have the whole series and will continue collecting every new copy that is released. yay.
i shall go have my bath now. tomorrow there's work. and friday is most prolly doom's day.results day. i really pray that i won't disappoint mom. flying off for now. gone.
to my dear dawnie who's in aussie, can you hear me. felt so lost without you last night. though it was just this short period with you from end december to febuary, and we have no idea bout each other's history, i really had heaps of fun with ya. i just hope you can come back real soon then we can turn the whole town red again. haha. you know what i mean. this time, i'll help you look out for your small eye boy. won't forget bout you when you're not around. i'll be waiting with my red paint, for you to be back. tc my dear friend and study real hard. miss <3
dirty
18 February 2007 9:57:00 pm
DIRTY.BLESSED CHINESE NEW YEAR! 888!
Happy belated Valentine's Day ((:
I'll update from last week.its been awhile since i updated.
Went CNY shopping with dawn last Saturday. Bought a white top and i black "oriental" looking tube dress.i'm going to wear BLACK during CNY.but who cares right? ate at dawn's distant uncle chicken rice stall at far east. omg, the chicken meat is SO tender and the chilli sauce is wow wow spicy! haven't ate chicken rice for stone ages man. happy day ((: last weekend was a rest week. no late nights. sleep as much as possible. Not much insomia this few days,but many many dreams. sigh. i feel so drained by all these bad nights and lack of sleep. why on earth is my body clock so early? i want to sleep! can't help it though. oh wells.
anyway, i've been KICKED back to HQ. So i'm not working at the northyard a.k.a "construction site office" anymore. sigh, i miss the people at northyard. like WTH, when they need me there,they kick me to northyard. now they need me for the thunderhawk project, they kick me back to HQ. yes, though HQ conditions are better, i have to keep adjusting to a new environment and learn so many things in a minimal time )): and poor jenny, she has no one to help her at northyard now.that stupid new gal who was employed to help her has called it quits after working for HALF a day. goodness. well, work is fuglifying me. work at 8am=fugly ching.
spent my Valentine's day with dawnie dear.well, seriously, couldn't help but feel a little lonely. as you walk on the streets, you see lovey dovey couples, having the time of their life. gals carrying big bouquet of roses and gifts. its like at that moment... "i want a man!". haha, but thinking twice, i dismissed the idea.oh,i'm not despo mind you.haha.singlehood=freedom, that's what i really need. so all the singles out there, don't fret. you're not alone! ((:
had dinner at the soup spoon.pumpkin soup with warm toasted bread. whoo. then we bus-ed down to zouk. it was 10+-ish going to 11pm. the queues were freaking long. well, the fact that it was v'day and ladie's night...got into phuture and it was darn freaking crowded. everyone was stepping on my feet. grrrr. the night was a
love hate affair.
anyway,it's CNY again! received 1kg of bak kua from my company, every employee's benefit ((: whoo. CNY eve, had hearty early breakkie with my dear brother pea.CHEAK HONG IAN.was having insomia.stupid body clock woke me up at freaking 6+am can?haha,as usual, cheak is ALWAYS making fun of me :/ we had nasi lemak,fried bee hoon and mee rebus!high calorie breakkie. Lunched with small uncle at my home. then had reunion steamboat dinner at grandpa's place.
Today, chu yi: this early morning, went to church, then headed over to grandpa's place again for lunch, then to uncle chan's place and another foong family place. by the time we reached home, 6pm. TIRED. travelled from one end of s'pore to the other. East to West. by public transport mind you. :( tomorrow, father's side of cousins aunties uncles will be here. omg,i'm like a PIG this CNY. Eating ALOT, reali alot. I'm eating non-stop that i'm really sick of eating but can't stop myself cause that's the only thing i can do to relief my boredom. gosh. i don't want a spare tyre...hopefully,my metabolic rate won't disapppoint me this time, though it hasn't reall disappoint me before. But, you never know,i haven't been exercising.expanding is easy, but deflating isn't.
i need rest. i shall go take a bath now. 888!
dirty.stained by guilt.totally regretful.foolishness due the feeling of loneliness.repent now.suddenly thought jolin tsai is quite hot.haha i used to hate her like shit.i bet she had boob implants.so bet k. from an A to WHAT C? retard can.i also want.haha.but she looked really hot in that concert advertisement on tv.she can realy dance anyway.
helpless.
06 February 2007 9:24:00 pm
so helpless that u don't even want my help...fine:( i'm still sick. sore throat and feeling all horrid. to make things worst, i just ate lotsa lotsa peanut butter n some choc. wow,so much for speedy recovery.and i'm still working.MC 2mr?
i'm getting so stressed and pissed this few days. my fuse is "shortening".
Firstly, the HR dept of my company told me to go back to the headquarters cauz shannon (whom just returned from the malaysia side) will be joining northyard's admin. I'm working at northyard now which is a 10-15 min walk from the HQ. so i reported to work at HQ this morn after biding everyone at northyard goodbye yesterday. WTH, HR director had NO idea or seemed blur to the idea that i was returning back to HQ? so she was like "oh, what are you here for? do you have anything to do here? shannon hasn't confirmed with me if she's going to take up the position at northyard, so do you mind if you go back to northyard now?" wadeva she said la. but that was so irresponsible of them,you could have at least given me a call before hand. they didn't even have any hint of guilt.i had to look sad and give a slight "wth" face before she apologised. so i had to walk all the way back to northyard. but i was happy.i like working at northyard. the people there are more real, down to earth and friendly, haha. uncles with their vulgarities and hokkien blah blah blah *&^$%@#!# super clowns i say. i get to laugh everyday. though the conditions there are harsh, surrounded by construction sites, super dusty & stuff...i just feel better at northyard
than at HQ with all the big shots or office people clothed in chi-chi attire. seriously, sometimes i really pity the foreign workers. they work freaking hard and earn peanuts. they do OT only to find themselves not being paid cauz the stupid GM is a freaking stingy man who cancels their OT forms AFTER they have completed their OT. Life's so unfair. those who get to wear chi-chi clothes and sit down in air con rooms earn the big bucks while those who slog their asses off in the hot sun earn peanuts, or shall i say
sesame seeds :( i'm one of em'
now. so i'm going to aim for honours, not just a normal degree. i really hope i can do my momsy n dad proud for my A'level results. its coming out soon! since O'level results are out this friday. *paranoid. God bless me :(
those words from your mouth freaking hurt me ok. i wouldn't say i'm the perfect sister.i know you don't like me at times just because i'm NOT a push over and i'm strict with you, sometimes even fiercer than mom. but this is really for your own good but you just don't see the whole picture. you think everyone is against you, blaming you... like hello, you're the one pushing mom to her limits and causing her to go crazy. like count your blessings and stop looking at what you do not have. spend within your means. you do not know your placing at all in the family and think you're the greatest. you just shout at anyone like as though you're their mother, pointing that little index finger directly into their innocent faces. we just want you to put in more effort in your studies and stop playing 24-7. but it seems like timeless advice and pushing never worked. am i to say you're hopeless? i can't, cause that's totally wrong of me as an elder sis to give up on you & say you're hopeless. but even when i'm helping you with your chinese, you're point that darn finger at me and tell me that you did not ask for my help & don't need my help cause it will never work out. i hope that this is not the last straw, because you do not know when you'll need my help one day, and i'll just walk out on you. don't push me to the limits.
i'll consider reporting sick tomorrow.sick.lethargic.
peace.
drained to the bottom.insomia
05 February 2007 12:01:00 pm
Drained to the bottom. Insomia.i'm totally worn out,drained to the bottom,literally. i'm so so tired. Lack of sleep has led to me falling sick. phuture on saturday night with dawn,glenn,RN n roy didn't make things any better, instead it triggered off my bad bad state. I'm having a sore throat now. Lost my voice. I sound like a freaking
trans.
i feel so horrid i just wanna take MC n not come to work.
Have been so tired during work cauz quality of sleep has been really bad. i wake up almost every hour during sleep, like how bad is that? i'm dreaming and having nightmares about myself filing documents & drawings at work, waking up during many many intervals. i mind as well don't sleep at all man. i find it so difficult to fall asleep too.
insomia. i'm damn sad that i can't have quality sleep. ): i'm feeling like an old woman.i'm going to look like an old FUGLY hag if i'm not gonna get well soon n get more rest...
didn't have the intention to go phuture with the rest on sat nite. but since dawn was going back to aussie soon, i'll just do sth for her, and accompany her. haha, dawn, u
need me with you rite. and YES, our cute small slit eye guys! ): haha. our date next week again. well, if i get well soon, and have enough rest and enough energy. i totally miss ruo ning too.was so glad she could join us. haven't seen her for quite awhile (pssst. she's been earning BIG BUCKS). n she looks so gaunt now.work has caused her to lose so much weight. oh sigh, all i do is eat everyday, can i lose weight too? haha. i just ate a 250g bar of chocolate in 2-3 days at work, after having full meals.
stop ur greedy mouth ching!
i'm so gonna miss u dawn when u leave. fly back once a week?
i'm sorry roy.sunday afternoon-youth adult get tgt once a month on sunday was pretty good. my 1st time attending it. but it was their 2nd session anyways. at least i didn't have to crawl out of bed in the morning knowing that i slept at 4+am the nite before. but i still woke up pretty early, 9+am.sermon topic was sex & break-ups. and it goes...blah blah blah..
went grocery shopping with momsy n sis in the nite. not a very happy moment :/
i got to get MORE sleep. pray that i'll get well soon ((:
Here's to all those whom i truly miss:paul-a-laul-a-laul. yummy dinner.now we switch from high class dining to lower class.hur hur.
cheak cheak,hearty happy morning breakie soon? miss! <3 oh,n sushi buffet on 15feb,can?
bestie ah bu!dinner dinner?
reina,u pang sei-ed me last sat :( well v'day ladies nite?
andre, ikea- meat balls fries chicken wings.u totally forgot bout me n my sweet 18! haha,its ur dinner treat this time!
alana, i thought we were suppose to meet soon?
kaiyin, shopping shopping shopping.
gen, starbucks 3pm, suntec city.
sydney,our long time ago "let's meet for dinner soon" has neva been fulfilled.
shir jie, the cheapo shopping at bugis. when when?
ting yan, i wanna see ur bald head, i so miss u.
clara, stella, gracia, haven't seen ur for stoneages.
So we just trust & obey. that's what You wrote. No doubts, no questioning. just obedience. For that is Your word. I understand now.
