lousy
21 May 2006 9:55:00 pm
lousy losuy lousyits been an emotionally draining week.very.i find myself crying almost everydae.i noe its been equally emotionally draining for You.do you tink those words came out from my mouth so easily?after i said all those,only then,did i feel it weighing down on me.mayb i sound ridiculous.do i?all our sweet happy memories came flooding back to me.but i realised that was e` beginning,where we started off from.soon,our r/s became sth which tied us down so much. i'm reali lost. if i haf anything 2 sae to u,its dat,mayb i shld haf showed more affection towards you,but deep down inside my heart,its there.it stayed,as much as it din seem to.
i haven't trained for three months.i felt shitty.played a frenly game of touch rugby wit NJC on fri.plaed my 1st time afta not training 4 dat long period of time.felt like crap.i was all wrong.i was lousy.the fact dat i din train at all n wenta play.herbie,crashes,rogues left/right.boo to me.inferiority complex suddenly hit me like a big bullet train.everyone was performing up to standard.and me?huffing n puffing like a zero stamina sloth.ok,mayb its due 2 e`fact i haven't trained or do PE 4 like 3mths.but e` reality is right smacked infront of my face."you're lousy ching!" i hate you stupid left ankle.i hope it heals faster.its crash world.
frenly with JJ,RP,AC n SA @ one go on JJ's field on saturdae late morn.omg,e` referees r like shit.lousy.as usual,i din play well.went JP w` ade,char,farah,mj n wen er.ate yummy lor mee.den mj treated us 2 ice cream!watched tv e` whole nite.binged again.ate too much.5 more months to A's.i can't face reality.
love.wad has become of us.
is it mutual?
wad went wrong?
was it just me being over demanding.
maybe.
things was all well,until sch started.
time wasn't on our side.
pulling us down dat deep black hole,
tiring us week by week,
draining our strength away.
tired.dats wad we are.
maybe its less painful like dis.
dat we decided to go our separate ways.
is it for the moment or forever?
emotion rush.
maybe it may sound unbelievable.
i stil love you lummy.
but,having feelings isn't the solution to everything.
take care.love.
the world crumbles down.
