bloody love
15 April 2006 9:42:00 am
bloody bloody ****. bloody cold war.i'm baq!! to blog.afta so so long. ankles healing 4 now,its been 2mth alr :/cauz i wenta 2 e
sinseh last saturdae.wth,was so pissed,waited 4 more than 1+hr.e` sinseh helped to push my muscle baq into position.she told me dat if i din come to her,my ankle wil continue to swell n hurt cauz e muscle healed in e wrong position.no wonder i stil cldn't run n start training,ankle alwaes hurt like shit when i did a lil runnin.stupid western doctors.all dey do is gif u cream n an ankle bandage.aniwae,e pain was excruciating.i lied down on e bed n she started rubbin some medicated oil on my ankle.1st,e` sinseh push my ankle into dis awkward position 4 dam long, to loosen my muscle.den she told me
"grab the bed" in chinese.i was like..hmmm..ok..giggling to myself.den she stood up from her seat,n stood up in some kung fu position n in one deep breath, she started pushin n pullin my ankle,back n forth,with all her might n strength.i was literally slidding up n down e bed,even e` bedsheets were messed up.i almost tot she was goin 2 dislocate my ankle anitime,lookin at e way she forced my ankle downwards.omg,i was crying n giggling at e same time.e pain is reali undescribable.den when e kung fu thing was over,she used much force on her thumb n rubbed e most painful part of my ankle.my brain cells were like screamin "ouch,help!!!" den she said curtly, "its done." woah,my 1st visit to e sinseh :))
aniwae,i guess i'm baq to church.i've drifted far enuff from God.i hope i can find dat love n warmth from church,which i felt years ago.seems like e warmth faded as long as i hoped for it to last.onli dat,wil bring me baq to You.i felt as tho i was standing amidst strangers.like afta one yr away from church,i feel so detached from everyone n everythin.mom was my onli rescue,i juz stood by her,if not i'll look like some loner while e other youths hung ard their cliques,chattering away.den i decided to leave for ade's place,since i had no purpose in lingering ard in church aniwae. ade's place was gd.char,mj n me.omg,we were pigs.u noe,ade's place neva fail n on food supplies,n will definitely fatten u up.i was like eatin every minute,poppin sth sinful into my mouth,from chocs to sweets to ice cream to fruits.omg. it was so sinful, as i felt my stomach. bloat.
a packed wkend.i'm gonna kiss physics tests goodbye.nahs,i'm so screwed.
i dunno wad's gone wrong.i'm afraid it's all gone wrong.it seems as tho,i've lost it totally.i can't find it back animore.it's gone,for real.
