HAIL RUGBY
23 April 2006 9:28:00 am
HAIL RUGBYon fridae,it was hella a day. PJ rugby beat SR hands dowbn 50-0 on their home ground.but i tot e guys cld haf played beta,cld tel dey were under performing.mayb u guys cld haf even reached 80-0 max score but had too mani penalties.
well done guys ((: now 4 e
JJ match ur muz win.
humiliation.sitting at the foot of e lecture hall during chem lecture,infront of e stage.oh,its obvious lana n me wun do our qns 1.it was arrowed at us.roy who was sittin bside us,oso din attempt e qns 1.hows dat huh? nvm,i stil kept my cool n tried to lift my head while walkin down e lecture hall wit disgust,as every1's eyes were glued on us.i guess lana juz cldn't contain her anger... ...switch off mode time...
the stress of e` A's has been secretly creeping in.not like i'm doin much bout it,but i'm gettin quite freaked out cauz when u lk ard afta sch,u can c evry1 muggin.thk God there ade,mj n meiyi 4 motivation.wad bout me?each time i ask myself dat qns,i'l tel myself,there's stil more time.but act,i'm juz bluffing myself.i feel as tho i've made e` wrong choice.i dun feel like goin thru e` A'level mugging.shld i haf went poly?i can't bring myself to.i'm so paranoid i wil use e` wrong method 2 mugg,i'm so scared i wil do badly n flop durin e` exam dae itself.i'm so afraid i wil cry my way home afta e` exam paper.i dun wana go thru e` feeling dat i may not do well 4 my A's.but its too late now.i juz gotta move forward.doin wad i'm SUPPOSED to do now.study smart. i hafta draw my strength n perseverence from God.i noe i can't depend on myself now.cauz my motivation is so weak,my driving force is God.my mental strength is so weak i don't noe where 2start,i dun noe how 2 study.doin e` work our tchrs gif us ain't enuff,theres independent revising too.God,show me the light,show me the way...
aniwae,baby,thanks 4 e cute kit kat cup n big big easter egg + kit kat ((: n e choc creme` oreos.u sure make me fat.i feel like a lump of lard,i haven't exercised 4 2months!
has everythin gone stale?
i dunno.
is it reali gone for real?i dunno.i juz dunno wads goin on.
i'm a disappointment.
the future seems bleak.
i juz wanna run away,walk away.
Walking away by craig david
I'm walking away, from the troubles in my life I'm walking away, oh to find a better day (chorus X2) I'm walking away Sometimes some people get me wrong, when it's something I've said or done Sometimes you feel there is no fun, that's why you turn and run But now I truly realize, some people don't want to compromise Well I saw them with my own eyes spreading those lies and Well I don't want to live a lie, too many sleepless nights Not mentioning the fights, I'm sorry to say lady CHORUS Well I'm so tired baby Things you say, you're driving me away Whispers in the powder room baby, don't listen to the games they play Girl I thought you'd realize, I'm not like them other guys Cuz I saw them with my own eyes, you should have been more wise, and I don't wanna live a lie, too many sleepless nights Not mentioning the fights, I'm sorry to say lady
bloody love
15 April 2006 9:42:00 am
bloody bloody ****. bloody cold war.i'm baq!! to blog.afta so so long. ankles healing 4 now,its been 2mth alr :/cauz i wenta 2 e
sinseh last saturdae.wth,was so pissed,waited 4 more than 1+hr.e` sinseh helped to push my muscle baq into position.she told me dat if i din come to her,my ankle wil continue to swell n hurt cauz e muscle healed in e wrong position.no wonder i stil cldn't run n start training,ankle alwaes hurt like shit when i did a lil runnin.stupid western doctors.all dey do is gif u cream n an ankle bandage.aniwae,e pain was excruciating.i lied down on e bed n she started rubbin some medicated oil on my ankle.1st,e` sinseh push my ankle into dis awkward position 4 dam long, to loosen my muscle.den she told me
"grab the bed" in chinese.i was like..hmmm..ok..giggling to myself.den she stood up from her seat,n stood up in some kung fu position n in one deep breath, she started pushin n pullin my ankle,back n forth,with all her might n strength.i was literally slidding up n down e bed,even e` bedsheets were messed up.i almost tot she was goin 2 dislocate my ankle anitime,lookin at e way she forced my ankle downwards.omg,i was crying n giggling at e same time.e pain is reali undescribable.den when e kung fu thing was over,she used much force on her thumb n rubbed e most painful part of my ankle.my brain cells were like screamin "ouch,help!!!" den she said curtly, "its done." woah,my 1st visit to e sinseh :))
aniwae,i guess i'm baq to church.i've drifted far enuff from God.i hope i can find dat love n warmth from church,which i felt years ago.seems like e warmth faded as long as i hoped for it to last.onli dat,wil bring me baq to You.i felt as tho i was standing amidst strangers.like afta one yr away from church,i feel so detached from everyone n everythin.mom was my onli rescue,i juz stood by her,if not i'll look like some loner while e other youths hung ard their cliques,chattering away.den i decided to leave for ade's place,since i had no purpose in lingering ard in church aniwae. ade's place was gd.char,mj n me.omg,we were pigs.u noe,ade's place neva fail n on food supplies,n will definitely fatten u up.i was like eatin every minute,poppin sth sinful into my mouth,from chocs to sweets to ice cream to fruits.omg. it was so sinful, as i felt my stomach. bloat.
a packed wkend.i'm gonna kiss physics tests goodbye.nahs,i'm so screwed.
i dunno wad's gone wrong.i'm afraid it's all gone wrong.it seems as tho,i've lost it totally.i can't find it back animore.it's gone,for real.
u made me feel like a fool
01 April 2006 10:56:00 am
u made me feel like a foolhappy b'dae MOMMY!!! i luv u ((:mommy's b'dae on april's fool,how cute :D
got baq common test results dis wk.its horrid.its reali horrid,both sciences like shit.horrid,like i said in my previous entry,expected it aniwae,din put in enuff effort,din study enuff.all our tchrs tellin us 2 become nuns n monks 4 e nt 7mths.n our new principal is quite strict,puttin indirect pressure on us thru e tchrs,so its gonna get harder n harder 2 breathe 4 both tchrs n students.
i cried.but it wasn't cauz of my results.it was dat insensitivity in u.
Our turn out 4 trials was quite horrid on wed n fri,due 2 e fact dat touch rugby cldn't recruit durin 1st 3 mths,we held out trials so late n all e` othr gals were alr pulled into othr CCAs which had their trials b4 march hols.quite pissed.argh.like,touch rugby alwaes had a rather gd reputation,i hope.haha.n we hafta pick e beta ones.but i guess,like yoke said,it all boils down 2 how we're gonna train em.our juniors' fate lies in our hands now.we gotta push em,real hard. i tink my slpin habit is gettin from bad 2worse.i tot slpin @ 12am evry nite wld help.but my head juz kps jerking downwards, n sometimes,i wld even fall aslp unawaringly.i nd more beauty slp. my hair's all screwed n fugly.there's 05S15 reunion steamboat dinner 2dae ((: cauz daddy's goin into army.i did a quiz bout my future career.i dunno if its accurate,dis is wad dey said :
"You would be good at a social career like a teacher or librarian a job like that! And if that doesn't happen you'll marry a rich guy and be a stay at home mom! Good luck! haha"
ok,so i'm gonna resort 2 bein a tai tai if i dun b'come a social worker or teacher?oh pls,not a librarian.for now,i may wanna take up a nursing degree in NUS (which evry1 laughs bout wheneva i tell em i wanna b a nurse!). actualli,i dunno if i reali wanna b a nurse.wad if i fall aslp while i gif my patients a jab?or wad if i haf constant hunger pangs while working?n when i do nite shifts,wil there b ghost n spirits lurking behind me?i'm afraid 2 see blood n maggoty wounds on those fragile bodies.i'l hafta clean e` patients' pang sai too,gross. :D wad if i hafta deal wit died bodies?n will their spirits come n haunt me?dats so freaky,i'l hafta visit e mortuary n pay my respects 2 em.do i haf to?hopefully not! haha. den life in a e` cute nurse uniform wld b so happy ((: i'll hafta deal wit my emotions too,i'm a very emotional person,n sometimes,nurses hafta put aside our emotions when we deal wit our patients.mayb afta my degree in nursing,i'l haf a far-fetched dream: head e whole nursing section in a hospital.ok,dats abit ambitious n dumb of me.its juz an illusion. i dun mind marryin a rich guy,cauz its tai tai life.but i dun wanna b a free loader n feel useless,i wanna earn my own keep n make a mark in life.its not juz bout having a career,but an established one.a successful career dat is.mani ppl alwaes feel dey shld pursuit a career of their interest.but sometimes we dun tink: will dat career b practical?yes,i may find joy in my job,but am i able 2 support my family wit my earnings?if u're a man,den dis qns wil even more b directed 2 u.cauz ur wife can't b e sole breadwinner of e family,unless u're a house-husband ((: dis is e reality of life. so i'll b a part time tai tai? ((: u made me feel so stupid.but e truth is,i din put in ani effort at all.does dat mean i'm stupid?
