drama queen.

25 March 2006 11:38:00 am

the right side or left side of the fence

24th march- happy 4 months baby ((: ((: sugar,its been 4months wit u.so mani things u wldn't haf imagined.even tokin bout our future n stuff.haha. i luv u sugar.

common test is finally over.ok,i'm very sure i'm goin 2 do reali reali bad 4 evrythin.e onli sub dat can make it is my math.if i fail e rest of my sub,i wun b surprised.why?b'cause i din touch my phy n chem tys.i bluff myself 2tink dat studyin my lecture notes is enuff but i'm wrong.i'm so stupid 2tink notes can lead u 2 a grade A.so now i noe notes ain't of use,so like dey sae "practice makes perfect",not ur stupid notes.but i hate doin tys,too lazy,i like readin model ans.haha.but bkshops ain't got dat freakin red spot animore. yokie said we muz b consistent.yeah,can stil play @ e same time too.but where's my source of motivation gonna come from? i noe i'm gonna do badly 4 dis common test,but it juz kept bluffing myself 2 tink dat its alrite,its ok.it was juz lika masquerade.deep down inside,i knew it ain't gonna b ok.i knew,i slacked too much.i knew dat i've not put in enuff effort.each nite b4 e exam,i wld close my bk n tink,"oh,its enuff,i can go do othr things now..eat..wadeva".n my habit of not consultin tchrs.is it arrogance or plan laziness?u noe wad?i consulted mr kow over some phy mcq qns last yr,he took quite long 2 explain 2 me onli a few mcq qns,n idiot me almost fell aslp.dats y,i tot dat consultation 4me will alwaes be useless,cauz i can't be bothered 2ask qns.mayb i shld drop e tinkin dat consultation is juz a waste of time.stupid me.i tink ere's a lil prob wit my studyin method too. i nd MMM.

i'm so deprived of shoppin!! juz spent 160 bucks ytd. mango white jean pants n a black tube from zara plus my contact lenses.haha,i noe e tubes makes me lk dam flat.but heck.its nice.haha.oh man,i'm gonna spend more 2dae w` ade again.n it was ade's idea 2 town ytd cauz she said she felt like buyin sth,but instead,i was e big spender.she onli bot "carmen sandiego" pc game cd from funan's challenger. so we juz went ard town afta our last paper...oh man,we were so so shagged.my ankle started hurtin like shit,its swellin up again,n its been 1mth since i sprained it.
den headed 2 queensway 4 my contact lenses.den ade's dad came 2 pick us up 4 funan,where we got reali intrigued by e old old on sale pc games.played dis bugsy game,n we juz kept losin our lives n remained @ level 1.level 1 level 1...had jap fd take away 4 dinner @ ade's place wit ade,shir n thier mom n dad.tv nite-shining star n da chang jin! omg,i was so full.my stomach was feelin queasy n weird.appetite wasn't dat gd,but i felt bad dat i din finish e fd.hai.but e best-worse part wasn't there yet,when ade's mom brot out e` whole large chunk of moist chocolate sponge cake.my stomach instantly rumbled.i suddenly had e appetite! ((: *beams. me shir n ade ate like 3 slices of cake afta our dinner.we polished up dat 15X15cm piece of cake. we were like dyin,cauz we were so full.ade cld stil happily finish up her 3rd piece while shir n me lked @ her pitifully.
on my way home,it was dam freaky.cauz it was like 11+pm alr.den i was waitin 4 bus near kap.den dis van from JB packed wit ticko malay men stopped @ e bus stop i was at.den dey started smilin widely n laughin n starin @ me,n honked their van too,tryin 2 grab my attention.dey drove their van back n forth along e bus stop lane.hello,i'm not turned on by ur smiles n stares,bet ur men r those who juz go ard picken up chickens from ur own JB geylang.i was quite freaked out,cauz i was alone,n i din noe wad dey might do.thank gdness i juz lked away n continued listenin 2my ipod.it was scary.

goin out wit ah bu soon.stupid ade's stil @ home.hur hur.had a fillin lunch ((: yong tau foo. su lin n dino r gettin married in US soon,so dey r here 2 cele their wedding wit us.1 table family wedding dinner later ((: ipod's down again.e com hadta restore my ipod n erase all my songs :/ i'm v sad.dorc,i'm so sorry i hafta bother u again:/ sorry.

so who's e one dat changed,u or him?now i'm quite confused.is evrythin changin so fast dat i can't catch up wit such politics animore.i dun even noe who's sittin on e fence now.its such a game.n its like a contracting puke scenes in ur brain.

n i tot it was bad enuff 2 lose u.to noe dat there's an unseen,unsaid barrier btw us,makes me wanna cry even more.but i knew dat barrier was there long ago as long as we started 2 drift apart 2 find our knew closest "ones". onli e tot of you n our fond memories can make me cry.yes i miss u too.

i was wrong all the while

18 March 2006 10:52:00 pm

i was wrong all e while

mugging's been like shit dis whole hols.
omg,i had so mani plans.finish muggin evrythin,do tys,den can go shoppin,sal's party wit dorc n e rest,spend more time wit my boy.wth,n wad did i do? study 3 chapters from morn till evenin.wad a failure.3 chap onli.dats like wth,not even do tys or anithin...i juz wanna kill myself.
i muz chiong.more discipline.my hunger pangs evry minute ain't helpin.i nd more mugger mojo.dats like MMM. crap.

yw's house durin wkend mon n fri.so sorry.i din mean 2 make u feel guilty dat i'm unable 2 concentrate on my muggin @ ur place.its juz e environ + e fridge n you.haha.i juz accomplish so lil work @ ur place.but its my fault.mine ok? ((: no worries sugar.

went crazy @ kap dat dae.was muggin,but i juz cldn't focus.i was goin @ sucha slow pace.i sat ere 4 3hrs n accomplish nth.so i decided 2 pack up n head home 4 dinner.home is my comfort.e dinner FOOD.ywummy.
ok,i'm quite happy wit my chem,its ok now.organic chem improved abit.did quite alot 4 chem.not tys tho.nvm. but screw econ n phy man.i hope i dun haf anothr break down.mayb i shld juz relax n take it easy.

i feel like i'm alwaes e one @ fault.mayb i'm alwaes e one @ fault.i was all along ur ppl's door mat.was i? i'm alwaes u ppl's shadow,lurkin behind ur.ur sidekick.the introvert that ur dun see.n sometimes i stil tink if i treated u as a door mat.y dis feeling again?feeling of losin your? i lost one alr.do i nd another?why do dey alwaes come n go as tho dey got nth 2 do wit my life.like my life has got nth 2 do wit ur.do i? u said,"frens come n go along e way.some wil stay some wil go". but does evry1 reali hafta leave me 1dae? is dat e reality of life? mayb.so mani qns. its like sec sch life is baq again to haunt me.
i'm sorry.

crash world upon my shoulers.

11 March 2006 10:30:00 am

crash world upon my shoulers.

had my GP paper n math paper on thur n fri respectively.GP was more diff than promo.din haf time 2 complete my AQ.doin e paper in LT1 sucks big time.my necks hurts like shit.math paper was worse.3hr of neck strain.afta e paper i cldn't even bend my head down.when ppl came 2 tok 2me on my left or right,i hafdta turn my whole body,cldn't even turn my neck.i lked some some proud stuck up weirdo wit a peacock head,cauz i cldn't lk down.math paper was ok.wit a few diff qns.act,e` main reason was i din haf time,i juz took my own sweet time 2do.tinkin i haf all e time in e world since its 3hr.if i did it faster,i tink can do most of em.argh.sucks. PJ's X-country event was a success 2my surprise.e event was well organised.n mani ppl chiong-ed thru out e road run.mood was up beat,evry1 was happy n e` different houses cheered so enthusiastically.i din run cauz of my ankle :/ n its my last yr here.but nvm.it was a happy dae.expected ervy1 2b super stone n bored.but things turned out dam gd.haha,ting yan n i were indeed surprised.cauz our open house dis yr was a total failure.it was on a wkday mind u.

distasteful ppl who go ard callin others muggers when dey themselves r muggin.juz wanna make u sound bad n geeky.i din experience it myself but ade did.if i were in her shoes,i'll b so irritated n like wadeva.cauz dey juz kp askin u,did u study?den when u sae u din or u're not confident,as in reali din study,dey dun believe u.dey tink u're lyin.when dey themselves r callin u 2ask u bout a tys qns?not studyin huh?

i'm startin 2 freak out.cauz e real main papers start afta march hols.chem phy n econ.evry1 has onli 2 sub papers 2 take but i haf 3 more.thank gdness math is over ((: n i haven't touched ani of my notes yet.like reali,cauz we've all been muggin so hard 4math,completin e` 70 tys qns dat e tchr handed out 2us.juz glad i managed 2go thru all of em,but i left like 10+ qns blank n unknown,n went ahead 2do common tests,grrr.n now,i onli haf 1wk 2 cover ALL my chem & phy chap i've learnt.n i dun haf a habit of doin tys,n i haven't read anithin! i'm super freaked out now.i dun haf it.n my fav chang jin is gonna start soon on channel U,i bet i can juz sit infront of e tv all dae.i nd mugger mojo.

sugar, will u be my motivation?

congrats ms lee.ms jane lee lked gorgeously babelicious n sexay in her tube top wedding gown.wit pretty glittery diamond hair pins all over her head,like some tiara.her nicely curled hair flowed down her back flawlessly.her hair wasn't fake,dat makes it even more perfect.omg,she was the centre of our attention.all our eyes were fixed on her.we were juz omg-ing all e way.our class were ere 2 witness her solenmization.but no wedding dinner 4us 2 attend :/haha ard 18 of us were ere,almost e whole class.was gd ((:den we towned.i almost lost my life.was standing @ e` edge of e road while cars were zooming pass me from behind.den,i lost my balance n fell backwards towards e` road.thank gdness,i grapped onto dorc,if not i wld haf been ran down my a car,cauz lana said there was a car dat juz went pass me.my heart did jump a beat. haha.evry1 was "sookching!" "omg!can u be more careful!" argh...it was some drama mama.i had fun wit my class ((: sat outside zara wit ruo ning n glenn n chatted till late. i luv my class.

gonna meet yw later.he passed out from BMTC alr ((: but its not as relaxing as u tink it is now.all i can sae is,hang in ere.

i'm with you.

i'm just a door mat to you

01 March 2006 8:26:00 pm

its getting harder and harder to breathe

watched pink panther with yw on sundae.ok,its darn hilarious.i was laughin thru out e movie.it was so so sad when dat stupid inspector found it he was all along been used.lika fool.u finniest part is,he wenta ask his "partner" to call in all ppl wit e name "you" for investigation.go watch it.tickles ur tummies ((: so funny ((:

A'level results were out2dae.sucked big time.baby,pls cheer up,or else i'll b sad too.when u were sad,i cried,cauz i was sad 2 see u all moody.i dunno how r we goin 2 carry on if u hafta sit 4 private candidate.it was juz too upsettin.why?tell me why?i wish some1 cld ans dis qns.why us?n now,u onli haf one option.can that option bcome mani othr options?is dat the onli solution?i reali dunno.it was juz all tears.

jux gif me some ovalteenies n i'll gif u a kiss.

wearin my ankle guard evrydae n my ankles healin!

i'm struggling to breathe.with evry minute in class,a torture i live.strugglin 2stay awake,forcin my eyes open.doin so much catchin up,dat i'm even slow @ catchin up when almost evry1's ahead.regret is such a stupid word which we'll regret sayin,when its too late.how mani wake up calls do i nd 2 realise A's r in 8mth?we're gonna b e ppl sittin @ e same spots THEY sat on 2dae.its gonna b our turn.will we get our desired 4 or 3 As?i wan em.its elite sch mentality here.i hope i can catch up in time on my studies.commont test starts nt wk.math n GP paper up 1st. i nd some mugger boost.some mugger disease injection.mugg mugg mugg.u go gal! argh..grrr.

i was juz a door mat to your aniwae.your neva reali needed me,did your?

its gonna be alrite yw.haf faith sugar.
Everything's Gonna Be Alright
by Sweetbox

Everything's gonna be alright
Everything's gonna be alright
Who ever thought the sun would come crashing down
My life in flames my tears complete the pain
We fear the end, the dark as deep as river bed
My book of life incomplete without you here
Alone I sit and reminisce
Sometimes I miss your touch your kiss your smile
And meanwhile you know I never cry
'Cos deep down inside you know our love will never ever die
Everything's gonna be alright
Everything's gonna be okay
Everything's gonna be alright
Together we can take this one day at a time
Can you take my breath away
Can you give him life today
'Cos everything's gonna be okay
I'll be your strength, I'll be here when you wake up
Take your time and I'll be here when you wake up
I never thought my heart would miss a single beat
Caress your hand as I watch you while you sleep
So sweet I weep as I search within
To find a cure, to bring you back again
And the sun will rise open up your eyes
Surprise just a blink of an eye
I tried I tried to be positive
Your a fighter so fight, wake up and live
Everything's gonna be alright
Everything's gonna be okay
Everything's gonna be alright
Together we can take this one day at a time
Can you take my breath away
Can you give him life today
'Cos everything's gonna be okay
I'll be your strength, I'll be here when you wake up
Everything's gonna be alright
I'd give my life to only see you breathe again
Hand in hand as we walk on the white sands
To hear your voice rejoice as you rise and say
This is the day that I wake and pray okay
Today's silence as time just moves on
You can't hear it though, but I'm playing my favorite songs
I miss you much, I wish you'd come back to me
You see I'd wait a lifetime 'cos you're my destiny
Everything's gonna be alright
Everything's gonna be okay
Everything's gonna be alright
Together we can take it one day at a time
Can you take my breath away
Can you give him life today
'Cos everything's gonna be okay
I'll be your strength, I'll be here when you wake up alright
Everything's gonna be alright
Everything's gonna be okay
Everything's gonna be alright
Together we can take it one day at a time
Can you take my breath away
Can you give him life today
'Cos everything's gonna be okay
I'll be your strength, I'll be here when you wake up alright
Everything's gonna be alright
Everything's gonna be okay
Everything's gonna be alright
Together we can take it one day at a time
Can you take my breath away
Can you give him life today
'Cos everything's gonna be okay
I'll be your strength, I'll be here when you wake up alright
Everything's gonna be alright
Everything's gonna be alright